deep winter delighting

little spots of deliciousness from the quiet

hello sweet peas* and fellow human delighters,

i write to you from the exit area of a long slump. slump slash initiation. something exciting about referring to a mid winter depressive episode as a “death cycle” because it suggests a moment of magical darkness before a lush, blossom-filled rebirth. i am ready for the rebirth. in ways I thought I was before but I suppose was actually, in fact afraid of. afraid to win/ afraid to lose, addicted to suffering, comfortably hidden and masochistic. existentially kinky. there’s this deep programming in the spiritual self-development/flagellation world that we must never feel like victims, - we are fully responsible for our own healing. the hellscape that is Abraham hicks-inspired mindset work made my suffering of the last decade so much deeper. as an (adult??) child reared in a lil household of the emotionally immature variety, I am most in my comfort zone when taking on innapropriate amounts of responsibility and stewing in shame, self-hatred, and should-have-done-better everythingismyfault perfectionism. I can fail one million different ways: didn’t do everything on my 74 step morning routine list? fail. Did everything on the list? perfectly? Are you literally incapable of rest? you toxic masculine anal retentive workaholic human doing!! ughhh that energy is so not magnetic.

however, something clicked in me this past week and I became so profoundly sick of my shit, sick of the patterns, ready to mosh my way through the chrysalis. I turned to rage paging a la journal speak, let my little brother coach me through a EK style mind exploration session, exploring my desire to stay stuck- why my subconscious felt safer there. and with rage that I didn’t push down + some powerful femme reggaeton beats pounding in my headphones, I made some kind of internal decision. ready to bloom. ready to be really nice to myself. ready to let go of the idea that my boundary practice has to reach perfection and I have to be spiritually immaculate and fully unblocked and neurally rewired before I can be worthy of the life + good things I so so deeply desire. releasing spiritual perfectionism, masochistic chronic self bettering, new age misery-making, the instinct to do things the hardest way possible (celery juice, shadow work) and lean into some pleasure, yum, and rest. and when I can’t pull that off? being sweet to my sweet ass self then too. onwards!

before I dive into all the winter wonderfuls that I have found delicious and divine… it must be said (and said with many knocks on wood bc I am neurotic) that I am so grateful that (over) 1 thousand of you delightful souls have subscribed to this newsletter. I have never ever reached so many individuals or found community in this way or at this magnitude on any platform before. You all feel so safe, so cozy, and I hope to write to you and many more fellow quirk balls who enjoy the deep and the fluffy for many years to come.

yay, so lets go!

deep winter (late December, January and February ) consumption:

in my mug (elixirs of the month)- 

• vanilla iced matcha lattes: scooping out the inner dark, fragrant paste of a vanilla bean makes me feel rich in almost every way. blending that nectar with bright green matcha, two milliliters of danish lionsmane tincture, local grass-fed milk, maple syrup and a bit of collagen and colostrum (bc always- died in wool wellness babe here) just gives a sense of prana and awakening to the dreary wintry neuro-spiced mind.

• late luteal infusion: every morning on days 14-28 o’my cycle I pour boiled water over a mason jar filled with raspberry leaf, nettle, dandelion, and rose buds + let it infuse all day. perhaps its the simple act of self care. then sip it smugly in the afternoon. maybe it is feeling like a kitchen witch. maybe its the power of herbalism. but either way I feel less demonic during the famously peak pms few days before my bleed. that plus progesterone cream plus the hormone balancing cocktail. i’m on my way friends!

• snow monkey tea. a souvenir from my recent stay back home on the north shore of long island. tastes like: home, lavender, vanilla, blueberry, green tea, and being a Capricorn stellium. wintry bliss in a cup. served with a bit of wildflower honey and warm cashew milk. have been making cashew milk every day in a little bullet blender and am in awe that I ever a) bought nut milk b) used a cheesecloth bag to strain diy nut milk. this is easy, foolproof, heavenly.

on the stove (yum from my kitchen)

• this is very smug but I … foraged mushrooms in the local woods by my home. oyster mushrooms. a bushel full. I then lovingly soaked, rinsed, dehydrated, and sautéed them only to later find out (from my forager father figure) that in fact steps two and last were the only ones necessary.

• anything on sourdough. BEHOLD the return of sourdough. gluten, pleasure, general nice-ness. I heard it’s pro-metabolic and not, in fact, an invention from the kitchen of satan.

• many soups. current faves: high protein tomato zuppa (made from blending cottage cheese with jarred tomato puree, some spices, garlic and evoo, sprinkle of coconut sugar, serve with charcuterie and avocado filled grilled cheeses) and a lovely lemony turmeric chickpea spinach soup made with homemade vegetable stock (smug). the broth was ambrosia.

le telly ( films + shows that brought glee).

• all the award shows, superbowl halftime + commercials, snl 50, new season of the Kardashians… god is good.

• envidiosa (embracing the shadow quality of envy) and valeria ( SATC in Madrid)

• my old ass, night bitch, meet cute (all of them sort of…destroyed me?) but to be fair have been on the brink of tears all winter ;-*

ear candy (podcasts, audio books, sounds)

• perfume and pain by Anna Dorn -delicious. poppy. moody sapphic snark. the way she writes about scents- particularly when spritzing herself with swedish moon milk… feels very little delight-y coded.

• falling asleep to winter- themed slumber party asmr.

beauty secrets (potent lotions, potions + wonders)

• body slugging- aptly named for current low energy state. a psychotically in-depth skincare routine for not the face. step one: smooth raw silk garshana gloves over legs, arms, torso, etc. step two: scrub body with exfoliation gloves and olive oil soap. step three: drench still moist skin with thick layer of glycerin. especially boobies. and neck. step four: rub snow mushroom drug store body lotion over whole body and finally seal the deal with sweet almond oil. castor oil too on dry bits.

• wearing perfume at home. current signature scent: Egyptian musk mixed with vanilla amber roll-on. the marshmallow scent of my hair products mixed in too. I smell edible. (the forever goal).

magic moments (pure joy)

• staying in a palatial Copenhagen apartment, house sitting with my lover. number one manifestation hack if I ever saw one. ecstatic expansion tool. now, when I envision my dream day as a successful substacktress it is so somatic. all my senses are involved. its easy. expecting big upgrades soon!

• using a tiny periwinkle coffee grinder made in impeccable danish design. making turmeric shots in my cream colored smeg juicer. drinking my elixir of the day in little jars with absurdly big icecubes. feeling like an aesthetic.

• hanging out with danish babies on weekdays as a nanny. no better way to start liking the danish people again than by being reminded that they were all, at some point, cute, rosy cheeked, open-hearted little beings in snowsuits and elven hats.

• embracing moments of boredom but not to the point of punishment. indulging in entertainment but ideally not to numb. scheduling space. using habit tracker for gentle, restorative, soft activities. the only way i’m strict with myself in this season is using structure to slow down.

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to-do’s + want to’s (happy little bucket list)

• I have accepted that all of my happy moments really happen at home… while I begrudgingly downloaded bumble bff and will attempt to carefully exit my hermit shell (for the right gal), I am most enthused about being a lil kitchen creatress:

• making my own tonka bean oil and jasmine salty hand scrub

• experimenting with high protein baking: tiger nut blondies up next!

that’s all for now sweet ones. thank you for being here. I almost didn’t show up today because I didn’t t want to mess this good thing up by writing an imperfect blog post but then I said fuck it. abundance mindset. life isn’t that fragile. I hope you liked it, I hope you like me. I hope you’re cozy.

PS I love you

PPS Its okay, the real new year starts in march anyway.

xx mimi