december darlings + delights

magic beans, cat naps + the energetics of wintering

hello fellow delighters,

i write to you with an iced dandelion latte in hand because i’m in my luteal phase (and i rlly don’t want to appear puffy in pictures tomorrow). on the to-do list tonight: edit forthcoming podcast w celebrity guest (first ever, no big deal), make big batch of low-glycemic eggnog (to be served over ice with april coffee tomorrow morning), finish up annual christmas movie rewatch + wrap almond gifts for tomorrow’s rice porridge celebration (denmark is weird. and lovely). it is the midway point of my long digital detox (no phones, no so-me, writing ok). this annual practice of mine is true medicine for the socially anxious, energy sponges amongst us. for those blessed with neuro-spice, body dysmorphia, the habit of constant comparisonitus (of one’s insides to shiny other’s outsides) and those inclined towards rumination over every.single.human.interaction. (was i funny/ charming, rude/intrusive, pervy? did my autism show? am i too much + too little?) more on this below, but i am settling into life in scandinavia quite nicely. a place which is both sweet and frigid in equal parts. i feel like an awkward, pubescent clingy wanna-be at almost all hours of the day. (does this mean i am about to bloooom?) with frequent obsessive thoughts ranging from “ am i being too american?” to “why does no-one want to be my friend?”.

anywho- these cellphone-less weeks are an invitation into slowing down and wintering. something that my nervous system doesn’t do too well (chronic hypervigilence being her preferred setting). the long dark wintry days are made up of: one to two daily cat naps, big pots of bean and beef stews bubbling in my periwinkle le creuset dutch oven, dog-earring the be-jesus out of big veggie-forward dinner cookbooks, languidly savored afternoons, snuggles, leggings tucked into wool socks, vanilla perfume on pillowcases, tiny snow flakes (a cause for celebration), plowing through my to be read list (currently reading intermezzo, ofc. and goddess in every woman-very bjd) luteal snacking inclinations, (because all food tastes so good and tis the season: braised duck in opulent gravy with cranberry kale salads, open faced danish sandwiches and cold beer, letting squares of frozen dark chocolate melt in my mouth while watching holiday movies). in essence: pleasure, pleasure, and more pleasure.

as i was saying, it’s been exactly two weeks since i’ve arrived back in denmark. a place i (semi)lovingly refer to as the land of blonde fragility. while my starry eyed start here was full of unconditional appreciation for all things dansk, (waxing lyrical to all who would hear about the welfare system, the soft daddies, the perfect pastries) the only danish (thing) that has kept my unobstructed adoration is mike, the dane who imported me.

as for the rest of this little flat country, my sentiment is very much love/hate. i want to be full of enthusiasm and hope but, i must reluctantly admit.. life here has hardened me. it has taken exactly 7 years, a hellish immigration journey and wild employment/friendship rollercoasters to arrive here: a human woman who is a bit reserved, a bit bitter, w. a major love for complaining… so i guess, in summary, a bit more danish!

however (!) nothing reignites my unadulterated love for this land like christmas in copenhagen. it seems to be devoid of all things bad (consumerism, tackiness, stress) and filled instead with cuteness, old tradition, pine needles, elven tendencies, cozy peaceful moments. it reminds me that despite the frequency of unpleasant human interactions (danes rlly suck when they’re S.A.D.), the constant dreary drizzly weather, and the lack of familiarity/semi-constant nagging homesickness, i can choose happiness here. the essence of hygge is creating light in the dark. sparking delight when joy is needed most. in celebration of this energy here is a list, a roundup of little darlings. pleasures i’m finding in my danish day-to-day.

a list of happy little delights:

consumption:

in my mug (warm) elixirs of the month-

• dandelion tea infusions (aforementioned luteal phase necessity)

• holiday drink wellness girly makeovers (gingerbread, eggnog, cinnamon bun lattes, peppermint mochas, mexican hot chocolate… but make it refined sugar-free, w grassfed milk, spiked w colostrum)

• spearmint + chamomile w warm milk (cortisol-lowering, bedtime pleasures)

on the stove (yum from my kitchen)

• bean stews in the dutch oven (cheap protein, nostalgic, detoxifying magic)

• grill pan meat: steak, green herb-y chicken breast, lemony-salmon.

• blood sugar balance bowls (pre-holiday gathering fuel). the joy of cooking while watching x-mas movies! preparing big batches of perfectly sautéed broccoli, washed greens, brine-y white beans, pickled things, creamy tahini + protein of choice.

on my telly( films + shows that brought glee).

• all the christmas re-watches: the holiday, love actually, the grinch, elf, cheesy netflix x-mas movies, danish christmas shows (the julekalender).

• the crackling fireplace (birchwood edition).

• bad sisters season two, only murders in the building season 4.

ear candy (podcasts, audio books, sounds)

• the lack of the sound of silence. always listening to stuff. maybe its the trauma/ neurodivergence. maybe its just a love for entertainment

• the dream dinner party episode on desert island dishes (one of the games i like to play with every new friend i meet).

• richard curtis episode on sentimental garbage (21 year old virtue signallers watching love actually for the first time, do not yuck my yum.)

• 10th audible re-listen of rachel’s holiday by

  Marian Keyes
  . god, i love this woman.

musings (noodling over)

• coping with low energy days (the energy of wintering, compassion, softness, waiting for the wave of inspiration, sleeping in, multiple naps, restorative yoga and gentle walks only.)

• is it okay to be a night owl? healing cortisol + hormones, wanting to be productive and positive in the early am (a’la that girl) but also loving midnight bedtimes + evening coziness. is it wrong?

• the energetics of the solstice, winter + capricorn season (my time to shine!!!!!)

• when happiness is a choice.

to-do’s + want to’s (happy little bucket list)

• buy christmas-y records in the city (check!)

• attend all christmas markets in copenhagen (done!)

• plan elaborate nye feast + decorate w. plenty of sparkle + kitsch. (to do still!)

happy little things (material possessions= joy)

• flowerpot bedside lamp- danish design, one of three pieces in the home that make me feel like a grownup + a bit fancy. a holiday gift from mike’s company.

• stationary shopping at søstrene grene w cutie wintry drinks.

beauty secrets (potent lotions, potions +wonders)

• rich, unscented, snow mushroom body lotion, sweet almond oil + vanilla amber perfume.

• castor oil with frankincense resin (botox).

• rose water spray all day

• the banisher micro needler

magic moments (pure joy)

• first snowdrops falling while at work. ran out of the back door with barista virgo coworker to catch snowflakes on our tongues. childlike delight and glee!✨

• decorating the flat with vintage danish christmas decorations (pynt) from my mother-in-law.

• collecting bits + bobs from nature: a bag of moss, tiny mushrooms, holly, red berries, pine branches + ivy to make a little nature covered christmas candle.

• dancing barefoot in the kitchen. w my love. pasta boiling on the stove. i always end up crying in his arms when we do so. the ice-princess in me melting and replaced w. a soppy nostalgic romantic. feels too precious to write about sometimes. i just really, really, love this man.

those are my delights this chilly december, love beans! thank you for being here. for “getting me”. mind yourselves. please try to be gentle. and if you can’t, and you opt instead to run around manically hoping to please everyone, trying to be perfect, seeking external validation, getting no rest + failing at self care/ “high self worth behavior” …thats okay too! next week is a new year. until we meet again, may your days contain a multitude of little delights and may there be time and space for your dilly dallying + daydreams.

with love,

xx michal

p.s. i love you.

p.p.s. here are some more cozy wintry eye candies:

all photos from grow + glow on tumblr!